Blind Dating |
For people who have 'never done anything like this before' to old-timers at dating who seem to be getting nowhere
The following information and experience has been
collected over a period of 14 years. It is the result of my personal
surveys, reading articles and books, and agency members' feedback, along
with extensive experience in the singles' industry both as a 'customer'
and in the business, finding partners for 1000s of single people.
Copyright 2002 Katherine Stewart
All rights reserved. No part of this report may be reproduced in any form
whatsoever without written permission from the author. Brief quotations
in critical articles and reviews may be used if the author, Katherine
Stewart, is credited. For other permissions, please e-mail
singlesgrapevine@aol.com
How to choose the approach best suited to you
with
observations on the current Dating Scene
Introduction
'Whenever two people meet there are really six people present.
There is each man as he sees himself, each man as the other person sees him,
and each man as he really is.'
- William James
Hi, I'm Katherine Stewart, and I would first like to tell you a bit about myself.
I have been working closely in the singles business for ten years. I first was involved in running a singles social club; I have developed and owned a top personal introduction agency for professional people - and also two dating agencies. I currently run Singles Grapevine. I have conducted research into many internet dating organisations (having in some cases joined myself where membership was necessary to see how it worked!)
I met my own partner through an agency.
During my time with the 'introduction agency' I personally interviewed many of the members. Having got to know them I was then involved in the matching process, as well as taking an especial interest in members' progress and feedback.
During this time I have sent out questionnaires to hundreds of members past and present on all sorts of things, including all aspects of how they felt about every stage of the dating process along with their suggestions as to how their own membership might be improved. I constantly invited feedback from each member and about each member, all of which has been noted and collated and forms the backbone of my two reports.
This is a unique recording of what hundreds of people who have experienced dating for varying lengths of time and with varying degrees of success actually say.
For instance, amongst the sort of problems most frequently reported was the disappointing lack of response to emails/letters, and the unkind excuses people can make after speaking on the phone when they don't want to take it any further.
I soon found that some members always had a response to nearly all their emails/letters, whilst others seldom did.
Maybe someone just doesn't like the 'sound of' the person's voice on the phone....
And then it can become embarrassing!
What can you say? Do you pretend you've met someone suddenly!? Do you just ignore emails/letters or messages rather than acknowledge them with the truth? Do you promise to phone someone back with no intention of doing so?
If so, you're not alone!
If you are on the receiving end, how do you rescue your self-esteem?
These are the kind of problems I aim to help you with now. Anyone can develop an honest yet tactful and considerate get-out strategy if it's given some thought.
I used to imagine when I originally came into the 'singles' business that eventually everyone would play matching pairs - with someone for all - and no left-overs. How wrong I was!!
There is a self-perpetuating imbalance. For instance, with more available young men than young ladies (reasons later), we lose the young ladies more quickly (they have much more choice!) and we collect young men of an age where there is already a surplus of young men under 30 in society.
This same thing happens with older ladies outnumbering gentlemen in their age group.
You also can make things difficult for yourself! You're a 60-year-old gentleman preferring to meet 25-year-old girls - if Michael Winner can do it, why can't I? - or a lady of 45 wanting to meet a 30-year-old rugby player?
What is it you most likely want from the dating experience?
I think I can tell you!.........
To ultimately find someone compatible, and trustworthy with whom to fall in love
In order to do this you need to have a means of meeting SUITABLE members of the opposite sex:
'Suitable' will be your own opinion as regards background, compatible occupation, age and distance;
'Suitable' in your own opinion as regards physical appearance;
'Suitable' in that the people you meet are financially and emotionally stable and truly unattached;
'Suitable' in that they have similar aims in life;
'Suitable' in that you can feel comfortable in their company, and if you bumped into family or friends while on a date you wouldn't feel embarrassed!
Last in your search, but not least, you'd like to have some fun along the way.
Ageism, Sexism, Heightism, Racism, Elitism, Anti-Smokingism and many other 'isms'
In the matter of dating and choosing with whom we'd like to share our lives, everyone will have their private 'prejudices' which they may prefer to call preferences.
There is very little way you can escape from being approached by 'the sort of people' you'd rather avoid. That's life. It's the way you manage to deal with it that counts.
I've done my best to keep my words objective, influenced as little as I can by my own opinions and value judgements. I have talked with many people, conducted surveys, invited constant member feedback and read everything I can find about dating experiences.
These reports are the results of my findings.
These words are what people with the experience of dating actually say ....
Whoever you are, whatever your age, if you seriously want to succeed at dating and to enjoy it, this report is designed to help you get ahead of the game.
NB. Just a final word about the quotations I've chosen. Many quotations refer to people as 'man' and 'he'. Please also read 'woman' and 'she' where appropriate!
Click here for next Section - 'What do you Really Want?' ...
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