Blind Dating |
Dates... Dates... Dates...
'BLIND DATE' versus 'EYES ACROSS THE ROOM'
Many people initially say that they would prefer to meet someone 'naturally', by chance, in a social setting where both parties get to see one another before choosing whether or not to make contact.
Pride tells them that should be able to 'find someone for themselves' without outside help.
Many people who turn to one-to-one dating have waited unsuccessfully for years for fate to find them someone!
Perhaps you have already tried singles clubs or dining clubs to 'up the odds', but weren't meeting people who were 'your type'. Perhaps the people you met just weren't wanting or ready to settle down. Some don't enjoy 'competing' in crowds, they may be shy or quiet, but feel OK talking to one person at a time and having their undivided attention.
You may have found yourself acutely embarrassed at being part of an obviously 'singles' group in a public venue.
On the other hand, starting off with more of a social approach has often given single people 'new to the game' the confidence to try dating. They will have met other singles and this gets them used to the idea, and they may feel less isolated - especially those who have spent many years as part of a couple.
Perhaps at a singles social meeting they have spoken to people who use agencies and have been surprised that they seem perfectly normal - and attractive! These people may have joined dating/introduction agencies realizing they may need to be more targeted in meeting someone.
'Mingling' methods of meeting single people don't suit everyone. Maybe you wouldn't even consider singles social groups as an option (just as many would not consider blind dating!).
The most impersonal, anonymous and possibly risky methods of dating are newspaper lonely hearts' ads. or one of the many internet dating agencies.
There is no record kept of the individuals involved. Then there is the safety aspect to consider and, as we frequently hear in the media, people unfortunately are not always what they say they are. So this sort of Blind Dating must be entered into with even wider open eyes!
For those who still 'want to do it for themselves' without the agency being involved in knowing exactly whom they are meeting, when or where, there are one-to-one organisations like dating agencies or registers. With these two methods there is however some accountability - with personal details, addresses etc. held on file, and a signed agreement as regards truthfulness and behaviour. Not foolproof obviously, but the issue of their being 'genuine' has been brought to their attention.
If they are found to be cheating in any way, the agency should be able to drop them immediately and warn other members. Grapevine certainly would.
For those who want to pay someone else to do most of the work in vetting their members and setting up the dates, who are happy with being interviewed and having other people involved in their affairs, there are the many Introduction Agencies. This sort of service doesn't come cheap!
INTRODUCTION AGENCIES VERSUS DATING AGENCIES
Is joining a Personal Introduction Agency worth the many hundreds of pounds you could be paying?
In my experience, having built up and owned such an agency myself, the answer is no - unless, that is, money is of no object and you don't use this as your only source of choice.
People often join Introduction Agencies in the belief that they will be guaranteed to meet professionals. Sadly, they believe that if they pay a very large sum of money to a professional 'matchmaker' it will guarantee them success.
However much they charge, the Introduction Agency is only as good as the members it currently has. It is difficult to get an agency to admit to their true numbers of active members, but it's reasonable to ask oneself which organisation probably has the most members (thus best selection) - one which charges £800, or a dating agency charging under £100!
In the latter you will have to take more care and perhaps be less trusting, though I have known a gentleman with very little money finding the funds to join my introduction agency in the hopes of finding a rich lady! Whatever you do, you need to keep your wits about you!
I would like to stress here that the GREAT majority of people I have come across in my time associated with the dating business have been genuine, honest and respectable.
Not only 'professionals' are members of Introduction Agencies, and not only 'non-professionals' are members of Dating Agencies, despite the very different sums of money charged.
There are many 'non-professionals' able and willing to pay the money for an Introduction Agency in the hope that money will buy guaranteed success.
Being prepared to pay hundreds of pounds could even indicate a degree of desperation!
Evidence suggests successful matching is mostly a numbers game.
It's more to do with how many people are available to select from than how much you pay. There is an inverse ratio between size of membership and the amount paid. Of course, by the law of averages, a few people do 'strike lucky' with the very first date.
The average number of meetings before success seems to be between 10 and 12 whatever method is used - whether with the highly priced 'personal' matching of an introduction agency, or through the 'self-choice' method of a dating agency like Grapevine. The more members the agency has the more people you will be meeting, so it makes sense that you should get there quicker!
It's good to remember this, so don't be disheartened if things don't work out in the first two or three dates .
The more choice and opportunity you have, the better you use this opportunity, the sooner you may achieve your goal!
'I'd rather have roses on my table than diamonds on my neck.' - Emma Goldman
EYES MEETING ACROSS A CROWDED ROOM….
'Time stood still'
'Violins began to play'
'It was Love at First Sight'
Passion: a glut of feeling sometimes experienced between strangers'- anon
Many people do believe in, or believe they have experienced love at first sight.
To like at first sight is a fairly vital and more realistic start!
To dislike at first sight is unlikely to go anywhere unless two people are thrown together, maybe in the workplace, and like in the story books conflict ends in romance!
THE FIRST 'EYE-BALL'
'How long does it take you to decide whether a date has potential?
'How long does it take you to decide whether a date has no potential?'
'Under what conditions would you reconsider?'
I will tell you members' answers to these questions and many more in the second report.
You get 'no second chance to make a first impression'
So you're fussy? That's good. It is a sign of how highly you rate your self-worth. People like someone with self-confidence.
Unless however you are a Tom Cruise or Julia Roberts, you may need to work on being a catch if you are fussy and want to 'hook' that special sort of person!
Perhaps, though, you're not fussy enough...
Realistic dating is about achieving the balance between what you feel is ideal and what you know to be reasonably achievable - which some of you may feel is one and the same thing!
The next report will help you to do your groundwork.
You will look at your own eligibility
You will get lots of feedback into what various sorts of people of the opposite sex are looking for, and whether you need to alter you goals a little, or 'sell' yourself in a different way.
Eligibility is an Art involving presentation and charm
The next report will help you to prepare an irresistible approach!
Report 2 is called: "Play Your Cards Right in the Dating Game"
PERSEVERANCE
You may have to go through a lot of 'someones' before you find the 'right one' - kiss a lot of frogs.
That's life. The quest needs persistence and stamina. Often people are on the point of giving up, and the very next one is 'the One'.
Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time. - Thomas Alva Edison
PERSPECTIVE
Try to be philosophical - learn to keep a sense of perspective. If possible 'take the rough with the smooth' - no double meaning intended!
OPEN-MINDED
Try to be open-minded. "My previous relationships have all been...." If they didn't work out, then it's probably time to try someone a bit different!
ESCAPE PROCEDURES
Considerate and polite escape procedures so you have appropriate get-out tactics up your sleeve will be dealt with in Part 2
"When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite."- Sir Winston Churchill
SELF-PRESERVATION
I'll help you to develop self-preservation procedures in the event of another person being one of those who need to read these reports. They may be less chivalrous than yourself and their 'escape procedures' hurtful or rude!
I believe by reading my reports you will smooth the path for yourself, you will make those lucky people who you'll be meeting on dates truly fortunate to have met someone like you, irrespective of the outcome.
Click here for next Section - 'To Sum Up' ...
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