How to Raise Your Stakes in the Dating Game Part 2, Section 8 Writing Your Profile By Katherine Stewart

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Writing Your Profile

Some effort and thought needs to be put into the profile you are about to write.

A profile or advert with little or badly thought out content sounds as though the person is either very dull, or that he or she can't be bothered to promote him/herself and therefore is rather arrogant!

Firstly, study where you are going to place your ad.

Look at other people's contributions where possible. With Grapevine I use the questionnaire method to help people.

How long is the average profile? How many words can you use? Don't be too economical, unless you have an original approach - eg: "Tarzan needs Jane". This implies a young virile young chap looking for beautiful girl.

People read between the lines. Make sure that your hidden messages are the ones you want to convey!

Are abbreviations usually used? (WLTM, GSOH etc.). The only justification in using abbreviations, in my opinion, is where space is very limited. They are boring and make every ad. look the same. The writer may also seem to be too much of 'an old hand' at the dating game.

Would the particular readership appreciate clever wording or originality? If you actually are a very clever, witty or original person don't actually say so - make it shine through your wording

Likewise, if your sense of humour is so good that you feel you're very funny, then write an amusing ad.

I believe the key is less to place an 'order' than to let your heart and feelings show through. You then sound 'genuine' without having to use the unnecessary word 'genuine'. All people into serious dating (the only sort we are interested in here) would want 'genuine' and 'sincere'. If it goes without saying, don't say it.

So, here are some tips as to how to write a short description of yourself:

'Do what you can, with what you have, where you are' - Theodore Roosevelt

Use words that have a 'positive' feel about them.

Say as much as possible in as few words as you can.

Here, to help you describe yourself and the person you'd like to meet very briefly, are some alternative words used by my many members. I'm sure you could think of many more - and probably some better ones! They appear in three sections - 'best' then 'good' and lastly 'not helpful' according to my own very subjective view.

Some words are obviously more appropriate to women, some for men.

APPEARANCE

Build:

good physique, fit, slim not thin, rugby 2nd row/rugby player, curvaceous/curvy, small compact build, slender, shapely, voluptuous, athletic, well proportioned, toned, chunky but hunky, Rubenesque, slightly short for my weight, curves in the right places not quite Twiggy

cuddly, petite, stocky build, medium build, large build, large build not body builder, slightly built, buxom, huggable, sporty, great figure, long legs(ladies!)/great legs, tall, slim/slim not skinny, unskinny, slimmish, small frame, muscular build, weighty, in good shape, broad shoulders (men!), slightly rounded, bit chubby/carry few extra pounds, larger than average, ample proportions, built for comfort not speed, well-chiseled, lean not anorexic

plump, heavily built, average size (meaning?), overweight/slightly overweight, bit of a belly

Face:

nice smile, smiley, big smile/cheeky smile/warm smile, nice eyes/big blue eyes/sparkling eyes/stunning eyes/laughing eyes, rugged, clean shaven

dimples, freckles, nice teeth, radiant, pretty/quite pretty, sultry, friendly face, all my own teeth/fully toothed, strong features, cheerful face, classic features, lived-in

moody (not much of a selling point!), bearded, short beard, goatee, moustache/small moustache/tash

General appearance:

enigmatic, rugged, distinguished, Robson Greenish /Tom Cruise/Meryl Streepe (or any other attractive person), Grant Mitchell lookalike(makes short/bald attractive)/Grant Mitchell without scowl!

beautiful, cute, olive skin, sophisticated, attractive, nice looking/good looking, wearing well, feminine, elegant, healthy, not gorgeous - just normal, colourful, clean cut, handsome/half handsome, OK looking, told I'm dishy, pleasing, natural looking, neatly put together

glasses (is this strictly necessary?), average looks (not worth mentioning then), super looking (bit boastful?), ordinary, not unattractive, well preserved, bookish, 'considered' good looking, with nothing missing, average height (probably means shorter!)

Hair:

silver hair, distinguishlingly grey, greying temples, steel grey hair, distinguished receding hairline, style more Beckham than Bogart, Sean Connery, blonde/long blonde hair

greying hair, blondy hair, auburn hair, dark blond hair, bunette with age-related highlights, lacking hair, follically challenged, thin on top, bald, Jamie Theakston style, slight hair loss

mousey (mid/light brown sounds more attractive), ginger hair (auburn/red/flame etc may sound better?)

Presentation:

stylish, classy

well groomed, neat, tidy, fashionable, casual, tanned, classical, smart dresser, trendy, conventional, modern dresser, glamorous

well-presented, presentable (what does that mean?), clean (I should hope so)

Youthfulness:

not one foot in the grave, no pipe & slippers yet, mature not old

wearing well, youthful, boyish

young looking (nearly everyone thinks they are), look younger young for age (too many say this), look younger than/much younger looking than my age etc. etc. (So many people say they look young that it becomes meaningless. It's refreshing to read a profile of a 'mature' person who isn't in denial about their age!)

CHARACTER

'Higher values'

thoughtful, sympathetic, loyal, honourable, diplomatic, compassionate

moral/moral values, non-judgemental, non-pretentious, committed, democratic, reliable, spiritual, dependable, open-minded, responsible, constant, wholesome

honest (redundant word - who'd say they were dishonest, or wanted to meet someone dishonest!), trustworthy (same), faithful (same), decent

Humour - (more imaginative than GSOH!)

funny, witty, playful, amusing, mischevous, teasing/teaser, cheeky

warped sense of fun, wicked sense of humour, offbeat sense of humour, jolly, game for a laugh, can be mad at times, jovial, bit of a card, mildly crazy, zany sense of humour, fun guy, quirky, daft, silly, only marginally insane

GSOH, Jack the Lad

Manner

friendly, charming/charmer, gentlemanly, open, articulate, good listener, confident, vivacious, personable

lively/live wire/bubbly/full of life/get up and go/bright, personable, little shy/bit shy/quietish/initially shy, affable, approachable, direct/straight to the point/straight, well-spoken, communicative, talking, chatty/talkative, polite, good-mannered/old-fashioned manners, attentive, convivial, amiable, engaging, courteous

shy (OK in ladies), quiet, jokey, noisy, loud, cool, sarcastic, pedantic

Personality - general

happy, warm/warm-hearted, loving, caring, adventurous, relaxed, romantic, gregarious, unassuming, kind, supportive, giving, affectionate, integrity, strong, enthusiastic, cultured, interested, empathetic, demonstrative, outrageous, unique, proactive

sociable/people-orientated/good company/easy to get on with/people person, sunny, cheerful, gentle, tender, fascinating, alive, spirited, impulsive, effervescent, zest for life, zany, lust for life, excitable, wild, passionate, vibrant, fiery/feisty, helpful/cooperative, sharing, youthful, generous, sympathetic, appreciative, attentive, patient, unflappable, content well-adjusted, happy-go-lucky/easy going/laid back/chilled out, level-headed, uncomplicated, hot-blooded, hedonistic, modern, tactile, considerate, down-to-earth, tolerant, broad-minded, sentimental, interesting, gentle, tender, comfortable, forward looking, sweet, modest, leader, assertive, family orientated/home-loving/domesticated, hard working/industrious, decisive, self-assured, sympathetic, homely, expressive, flexible, curious, serious, pleasant, rounded, trusting, peaceable, sensual, motivated, placid, calm, serene, practical, active, enterprising, strong character, robust, level-headed, self-assured, impulsive, accommodating, bright, intelligent, understanding, modest/nearly modest, likeable, magnetic, loveable, tough, straightforward, knowledgeable/multi-talented, methodical, man 90, orderly, likeable, protective, soft, inquisitive, resilient, free-thinking, worldly, observant, pensive, mild, frank, unpredictable, impulsive, versatile, hopeful, discerning, punctual, gentle giant, irreverent, young spirited

fussy, precise, fastidious, lazy, diffident, loner, private person, timid, average, house trained (sounds like dog), tidy (could be obsessive), sexy (not sure of its use here!), impatient/not suffer fools gladly, workaholic, humble, still in child mode/mental age 25, intense, retiring, temperamental, forceful, opinionated, stubborn/obstinate, moody, decent, hyperactive, respectable, better at writing than talking, nice, chameleon, long- suffering, feminist, argumentative, young at heart

Deeper personality

perceptive/intuitive, optimistic, balanced, stable, motivated, aware, reflective, contemplative

Taurean/Piscean/Arian etc. etc., thinker, reserved, doesn't take her/himself too seriously, artistic/creative/imaginative/inventive/Arty, entrepreneurial, poetic, sensitive, focused, strong views, deep/deep thinker, achiever, mature, pragmatic, non-materialistic, conscientious, thorough, analytical, determined/driven, tenacious, traditional/conservative, intellectual, versatile, lateral thinker, cultured, philosophical, meditative, controversial, complex

introverted, insecure, eccentric, nervous, careful/cautious, unconventional (could read as weird), intense, cautious, pessimistic, indecisive, vulnerable, lonely, intense, cynical, forgiving, psychic

BE POSITIVE

There are positive ways of saying just about anything.

Most perceived negatives can be turned on their head. It is dangerous to omit them altogether, as the person you meet may feel cheated!

Here are some 'perceived' negatives and suggestions as to how they can be reversed, if they need mentioning at all:

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