Blind Dating |
To Sum Up
Be yourself what you want in others.
It's not going to work, for instance, if you sound totally humourless and you want someone fun-loving and with a sense of humour. It's no good insisting on someone fit and gorgeous if you yourself are very unfit and not quite God's gift!
Behave towards others as you would like them to behave towards you.
When writing your profile lead with your strongest suit.
You will know the qualities which most attract the person you want, which of those do you possess yourself? Sell yourself!
Keep in mind who you have to be in order not only attract your ideal mate, but to have the kind of relationship you and the other person desire and deserve.
Are you right for him/her?
Be honest. Are you fulfilling the requirements of your ideal partner as far as you can guess at these qualities?
How far are you prepared to put yourself out to make yourself desirable?
Are you one of those people who actually want what is not what that particular sort of person would likely be looking for?
Successful daters start from the position - "I must check that I myself suit the sort of person I'd like to meet. Otherwise, I need either to change and adapt myself or reconsider what I'm looking for in another".
Unsuccessful daters usually start from the position - "It's irrelevant whether or not I myself suit the sort of person I'd like to meet. The people of my choice must adapt to suit me. I don't change and I refuse to reconsider the sort of person I'm looking for".
Whether you're a man or a woman, serious dating for a meaningful long-term relationship isn't consistent with merely looking for a trophy!
MANNERS - dos and don'ts
- DO look clean. Not looking clean/dirty hair/unshaven (men!) is inexcusable when the other party will have put in the effort
- DON'T run down or 'slag off' past dates
- DON'T scratch or pick your nose! (even if it's due to nerves)
- DON'T wear scruffy jeans - smart ones just about acceptable
- DON'T talk about dead, ex. or wife on first date - apart from in passing comment
- DON'T talk on mobile phone during date
- DON'T be late - if absolutely unavoidable phone venue and make sure you apologise nicely!
- DO look at someone when you speak to them. Lack of eye contact/paying attention/looking around as though for someone else
- DON'T take a child or friend on date (this unbelievably sometimes happens)
- DON'T escape through the toilet window!
- NEVER stand someone up
Positives
Here is an example of the many positive comments reported in my surveys and questionnaires. Many of the members were current members at the time of the exercise, so still had not found their partner:
Ladies
- Dating broadens horizons, and is something to look forward to
- I have had some interesting evenings
- I've met many people and have very few nights in
- I've increased in self-confidence, people find me attractive (many said this)
- It's helped self-esteem, reinforced social skills
- Dating has got me back to socialising again
- It's been an interesting experience
- I've found a permanent partner (lots said this)
- I enjoy meeting new people
- Most seem decent men, if not my type
- It's been great fun. I've met some delightful men
- I have always felt safe and been treated with respect
- I enjoy getting to know someone and meeting new people
- It has reassured me that there are lots of single men out there
- It's good getting to meet someone in a similar situation
- Dating helps calm you down and to think about men more objectively
- It's made me realise that if I don't have a partner immediately it's not the end of the world. It has confirmed who I am
- Yes, it's made me realise I am not over my marriage and not ready for dating
- It's shown me I needed more time to sort myself out (ladies think the men use the dating to sort themselves out!)
- I realise how lucky I am to have my life sorted apart from the right man
- I've met people I wouldn't otherwise have met
- It's exciting meeting different people and making friends
Men
- Dating has transformed my social life
- It's a great way of meeting new people
- It's a new way of meeting people
- It's getting me used to meeting new people
- It's becoming another hobby
- It has reduced the loneliness
- Dating has allowed me to meet people outside my own peer group
- I've had some enjoyable evenings out
- I've met interesting women, enjoyable company
- Yes-found a partner (lots)
- I don't get time to organise a regular social life for myself
- It has got me away from work
- Yes - even just to chat for a couple of hours with no commitment
- It has increased my knowledge of what makes myself and others tick
- It's taught me a few things about myself
- It has helped me build confidence in myself, boosted my confidence
- Dating has enabled me to express myself better
- It gives me practice at skills I'm very poor at
- I've learnt by my mistakes - and am less nervous now
- I feel I can talk more easily to women
- It's given me a better understanding of the type of person I wish to meet
'The charm of fishing is that it is the pursuit of what is elusive but obtainable, a perpetual series of occasions for hope' - John Buchan
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